Training Arc Activated: Rebuilding Life, One Post at a Time

Hi, and welcome to the reboot of my blog — a messy, chaotic space where I’m attempting to untangle life and make some sense of the world, myself, and the wreckage in between. This isn’t a clean slate — it’s more like piecing together fragments of something broken and seeing what new shape it takes.

For the past few years, I’ve been trying (and often failing) to make sense of fandom, academia, and activism — three messy, complicated spaces where I’ve spent way too much time. The academy? It’s a maze of bureaucracy and inequity teetering perpetually on the brink of collapse. Subversive culture has been my lifeline — a blend of joy, rebellion, and escapism — and somewhere in that, BTS carved out a complicated yet pivotal chapter in my story. It’s a complicated relationship, but what meaningful ones aren’t?

What to Expect From This Blog Reboot: Fandom, Burnout, and Chaos

This blog is where I’ll wrestle with the mess and see if I can make sense of it — or at least come away with a few sarcastic takeaways to keep us all entertained. By rebooting this blog, I’m putting it out into the universe as a commitment to show up — for myself and, hopefully, for you.

It’s also my way of holding myself accountable. By putting this out there, I’m committing to actually starting — and continuing — this blog series instead of letting it gather dust in my mental drafts folder.

Expect stories from fandom — the hilarity, heartbreak, and those 3 a.m. moments when you’re questioning why fandom takes over your brain, and somehow, it still feels worth it.

• Critical Perspectives: Expect essays that dig into how fandom collides with activism, identity, and the messy realities of online culture. Why do these spaces feel like home for some and battlegrounds for others? What would it take to create fandom communities that prioritize inclusivity and care — and maybe just a little less gatekeeping?
• Personal Reflections: This isn’t just about BTS (though they play a role in the story). It’s also about navigating academia as a neurodivergent professor in a system seemingly designed to grind people down, balancing fandom’s chaos with personal growth, and finding those small, persistent flickers of hope that refuse to be snuffed out.
• Navigating Burnout and Beyond: I’ll share my struggles and strategies for dealing with burnout, mental health, and the pressures of balancing personal and professional life in a world that feels perpetually on fire.
• Community Conversations: I want this blog to be a dialogue, not a monologue. Share your stories, perspectives, and experiences. Let’s build something meaningful together.

Why Rebooting This Blog Matters: Life, Writing, and Subversive Culture

The short answer? Because I need to reconnect — with writing, with myself, and with what matters most.

The longer answer? Writing is my duct tape — imperfect, patchy, but it holds things together just enough to move forward. It’s how I grapple with burnout, identity, and finding purpose. It’s how I keep the fragments of myself stitched together long enough to find meaning.

When everything meaningful feels like it’s being bulldozed, creating something — even something imperfect — feels like sticking it to the void. And let’s be real: everything sucks right now, so why not throw some words at it?

This blog is also a chance to reconnect with the parts of myself that I’ve neglected.

It was my students, far wiser than I deserved, who urged me to rediscover my roots. They reminded me that sometimes growth isn’t about moving forward but circling back to the things that matter most. They’ve dubbed this my training arc, and I’m all in.

[Placeholder for an image of interconnectedness — perhaps a visual representation of online networks or diverse community interactions.]

I’ve spent years researching online communities, play, and fandom dynamics. I’ve seen how these spaces can transform lives, offering connection and creativity. I’ve also seen their flaws — the toxicity, the gatekeeping, the way systemic inequities play out even in places meant to bring us joy. This blog is my way of grappling with those contradictions, spotlighting what’s worth keeping, and side-eyeing everything that’s overdue for a reckoning.

Welcome to the Chaos

If you’re here, thank you. What keeps you going in chaotic times? Whether it’s fandom, writing, or something entirely unexpected, I’d love to hear about it. Share your journey in the comments — I’m always up for a good story. This reboot is as much for me as it is for anyone else — a chance to dig through the wreckage of the last few years and try to build something that feels authentic. I hope you’ll join me for the ride.

Whether you’re an ARMY, an academic, a fellow neurodivergent human, or someone who clicked this link out of sheer curiosity, I hope you’ll find something here that resonates. Stay tuned for stories, essays, and the kind of chaos that might be cathartic, entertaining, or just absurdly relatable.

Let’s go on this journey together.

Join the Conversation

What are the moments, stories, or communities that have shaped your journey? I’d love to hear from you in the comments. Share your thoughts, insights, or just say hi — let’s start building this space together!